March 25, 2006
Security Mothers
The Toe Stubber usually stays an arm’s length away from political commentary. There are plenty of places all over the Web where you can get your deeply held cultural cliches validated - nobody needs to know what I really think about gay marriage except me and my box turtle. 
However, one of my favorite purveyors of snarkis politicus happened to write something recently that relates to the music scene, so it’s fittin’. Making my internet rounds the other day, I read this essay by L.E.S.-boy-makes-good Roy Edroso about security, danger, lameness and rock ‘n’ roll. It’s depressing, meaning it’s true.
Roy used to be in NYC’s the Reverb Motherfuckers (story here, here, here and here) and was also once wed to my pal Sally from the Honeymoon Killers. When I met him way back in the day, I had no clue he was such a good writer. But he’s learned some smart lessons, and the truth of his point really pisses me off. As once-excited music fans get older and deader and more brittle, and start legislating suffocating boredom upon the younger generations, they ought to remember just what they paved over in their new-age law enforcing zeal.
Rick at 5:47 pm
Humor Me - The Final Reckoning
I may as well come clean. Yoshi-sama was never happy with “the mockery” as he puts it. These Jokes were recorded (with hardly any preparation) years ago for an internet radio show, and edited (with Chris Santamaria’s evil help) for maximum cheeseball effect.
They’ve been reposted here over the last couple of months because: 1. I was lazy and it was easy for me to recycle old bits, and 2. he still makes me laugh.
Let me state for the record that Yoshi is a hilarious comic and a good friend, and I would never want to do anything to hinder his standup career, especially now that he’s hit the bigtime on the comedy circuit. As an example of his stalwart good nature, he’s never demanded censorship of these little retarded radio skits even though, as a professional, I’m sure they bug the fucking shit out of him. He suffers in silence; he endures. This man is pure class all the way.
So download them at will - because in April, these magificent, ridiculous Jokes will be gone, lost to the cruel heckles of history.
Yoshi’s final Joke of the Week
Rick at 12:30 am
March 24, 2006
Good Guys Wear ‘Em
Say, babies, get in on what’s happening. Here’s an item that’s always groovy. It’s not gonna wear out; it’s not gonna be out. It’s gonna be in. Be in. Wear it to Be-ins. Wear it to Love-ins. Wear it to… Turn-ins!
Your nazi helmet is factory fresh and comes with a choice of personalized decals. Made of the finest organic plastic, this item will never become obsolete. Kids - get your own helmet club! Plan secret meetings. Wear your helmets to school. Compare your genuine now helmet to Dad’s old one! Guaranteed complete protection in all demonstrations…
Hey, kids! Get uptight with your outtasight nazi helmet today!
(From You Are What You Eat (1968). Long time thanks to the Hound.)
Nazi Helmet ad (:57)
UPDATE: Corrected the name of the movie (thanks, Squeaky!) and discovered that this piece was on a track by Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul & Mary. According to Wikipedia, Pete pled guilty in 1970 to taking “immoral and indecent liberties” with a 14-year-old female fan, and served three months in prison.
Rick at 8:45 pm
March 20, 2006
Mothra Monday
This is not the place to learn all about the Toho Films pantheon of creatures. I don’t know a whole lot about Mothra, but I’m picking up a few facts here and there. She was an adversary of Godzilla and, for all I know, they became fast acquaintances or maybe secret fuck-buddies in later films…
you know how fickle these radioactive monsters can be. Perhaps Ivan Lerner can step in and fill in the blanks. Or you can do your own research. This is the goddamn internet, in case you haven’t noticed.
What’s clear to me, and anyone else, is that Mothra is a giant moth. Let’s pause a moment and let that sink in. A moth. Possibly the most harmless pest in terms of battle, a fluttering, delicate moth can - what, nibble on your linens? Does Godzilla end up after the melee with raggedy-ass holes in his/her underwear? (Just kidding. Everyone knows Godzilla doesn’t wear any underwear.)
(…Damn, that’s sexy.)
As an aside, you can find out all about Mosura’s fragile ego and mothy powers right here. And this other page has the original version of the theme, as well as storyline summaries, smart links, cool photos, lyrics and translation.
The real movie came out in 1961, then was remade in 1996, probably because somebody imagined that was somehow necessary.
The U.S. credits for the original movie had Jerry Ito’s name listed as “Jelly Ito.” How excellent is that?
Anyway, I found an old cassette tape that has this tune which I’d assumed was by girl duo the Peanuts as those adorable little twin Japanese maidens (the Shobijin) that worship an enormous moth. This must be from a record I own called Godzilla Legend III: Dialogue of the Infantians by Makoto Inoue, which is apparently slavish synth interpretations of the original Akira Ifukube score, made in 1983. I like to imagine it’s the Peanuts on vocals, but for all I know it’s Pink Lady in a karaoke bar. Got your wings on, good buddy?
Rick at 11:58 pm
March 18, 2006
Humor Me, part 7
More posts are on the way. I took a week off of updating the site in order to indulge in some reading and movie watching, workplace drama, migraines, cooking and procrastination. Thanks, I’m nearly all better.
In the same vein as last year’s incredible remix of The Shining, here’s a new twist on Mel Gibson’s Christ. (YouTube video) To my readers who are christians or who only have dialup connections: sorry. The future’s a bitch, innit?
…After Ricky Anys played it for me, I spent a long time searching video sites for the official-looking trailer for Snakes on a Plane. Now I cain’t find it. Apparently this Samuel L. Jackson-oriented web meme is attracting cease-and-desist letters from company lawyers. Aw, jeez. Go ahead, sue everybody! Did I mention there are snakes on the motherfucking plane?!
Here’s another Joke of the Week, for Yoshi completists.
Finally, if you’re the “street team” kind of person, you can mail me a self-addressed stamped envelope and I’ll send you some of the new Toe Stubber stickers (actual size). Adhere them wherever people are likely to see ‘em - money, baby strollers, Hummer limos, poop, breast implants, American flags, crack pipes, etc. It’s perfectly legal, I think, not being a lawyer.
UPDATE: This post mysteriously disappeared over the weekend due to some server-side problems. Also, the RSS feed is acting strangely. All I can say is, it’s a good thing this website isn’t my only lifeline to sanity.
Rick at 7:11 pm
March 12, 2006
Hop on Pop
The Shakes played the other night at a French restaurant in Los Angeles. I got pictures to prove it.
One thing that I’ve grown to appreciate about the Shakes is their consistency. These youngsters are in it for the long haul. Lemme tell ya, kid - I seen ‘em come and go. This combo might have one of the most generic names imaginable (I suppose we can be grateful they didn’t call themselves Rock Band), but the Shakes seem to lack the sort of deluded megastar ambition that leads to the breakup of lesser bands. They bring a garagey roughness to the academic sixties-worship you hear from certain other devotees of the Kinks and Small Faces. Peter and Janet are infamous for deflating any hint of show-biz mythmaking in the live show - specifically with their tendency to mumble self-deprecating commentary or inside jokes, or by overexplaining that which needs no introduction.
On Friday, it seemed like they were consciously trying to avoid these pitfalls, because whenever Peter would begin to elucidate the origins of a particular song, the rest of the band would quickly step all over each other with “shut up and play!”-type objections, which piled upon one another until somebody actually did start playing. But the Shakes never degenerate into fisticuffs; no one goes away bloody.
Bass player Janet Housden dislikes it when friends mention she formerly hit drums for Redd Kross. Guitar/frontman Pete Gilabert is another “scene veteran” (as we old folks like to put it) who was in merseybeat group the Stool Pigeons as well as other bands that are shrouded in mystery. Keyboard nut Dan Collins is a funny fellow and an excellent DJ on Killradio.org, where he spins the finest in 1960s-70s non-hits. Andrew Chojnacki is no longer their drummer, but the new guy is really good.
These first two selections below are from the Gigantes Del Pop! album on L.A. pop mogul Jim Freek’s Teenacide records. The Britney cover is from the 2002 debut record. Monsieur Freek says that the new Shakes CD is due out on 6-6-06. I can’t wait.
The Shakes - “In My Hair”
The Shakes - “Sicker”
And here’s that blast from four years back:
The Shakes - “Oops! …I Did It Again”
Rick at 2:52 pm
March 11, 2006
Humor Me, part 6
For movie lovers, Criticwatch covers the shameful activities of fawning media quotewhores Paul Fischer, Harry Knowles, Bill Bregoli, Clay Smith, Pete Hammond, Jeffrey Lyons and Shawn Edwards (and last, but certainly not best, the legendary Earl Dittman), as they suck up to every megacorporation or publicist who offers them a shrimp platter or an official baseball cap, then foist their fluffy, drooling, content-free reviews on the viewing public. This is comedy with a burning core of righteousness. Ignore the myriad pop-up ads and sign their petition; it’s a good cause.
Then, via Hit and Run, here’s a bizarre little classroom movie one might call Planet of the Bike-Riding Apes.
And the Joke of the Week, late as usual.
Satisfied?
Rick at 12:53 pm
March 9, 2006
Party
Lately I’ve really been in the mood to listen to midtempo glammy party anthems, like Andy Kim, or the song below, or some other artists (who I’ve decided to save mention of for later posts; you didn’t think I’m brimming with ideas, did you?).
Maybe I’ll go visit Vietnam - I understand they’ve got some platform-heeled rebel rocking planned there for at least the next three years.
This tune by the mid-seventies band Warwick is taken from Velvet Tinmine, a 2003 U.K. compilation CD of obscure and semi-known jewels from the glam rock era. You’ve really got to hand it to the collector maniacs who assembled this exuberantly cheesy slice of history (hand it to them here). There were only a couple of selections out of the 20 tracks that fell flat for me. It’s really good stuff.
My researching abilities don’t extend much past Google, and I wasn’t able to find out much about Warwick except that a song called “Eddy Flashing Folks” may or may not be the b-side to this single.
The singer and band’s namesake was Warwick Rose, who was in the Soul Survivors in the 1960s, and who had been in the psych band Tangerine Peel with the (later) famous producer/hitmaker Mike Chapman.
Perfection with a reverberating sing-along rock hymn vibe, “Let’s Get the Party Going” sounds like the theme to an imaginary seventies. Can’t you see yourself making out to this song? I know I can. I have a very good imagination. Anyway, it’s incredible to me that it wasn’t a chart hit. Put on your boots and wide belts, feather your hair. Let’s keep the party going on - now, now-now-now-now, now-now, now-now-now-now.
Warwick - “Let’s Get the Party Going”
Rick at 10:43 am
March 3, 2006
Humor Me, part 5
1. Ordinarily I wouldn’t be impressed by someone’s attempt to generate a viral marketing sensation by disseminating video of an obnoxious preadolescent guido, but it’s Friday and Gino the Ginny (YouTube video) is a funny li’l fucker.
And you’ve always got to follow the funny. I say that at least once a week. His MySpace page is here.
2. The Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Douchebags.
3. This woman (another video site) sounds like she’s been running two miles for the ice cream truck, but it’s pretty damn comic watching her wag her finger, spew religious insanity, pace back and forth ad nauseum and then collapse. Hey, you get the laughs wherever you can.
4. And here’s your Joke for this week.
Rick at 8:36 pm
I Get Confused by All the Claims Made in Commercials
San Francisco’s Negativland are at their best when honing the freeform group radio improv noodling into an organized product, like an album, or like this 7″ released around 1997 (in relation to their Dispepsi CD) on the Eerie Materials label of the Evolution Control Committee. Or try any of their studio records. Their kind of goofball audio collage wizardry is just too hard to describe, so forget it. Relax.
I also recommend the excellent and fun Craig Baldwin documentary Sonic Outlaws (which delves into their legal battles with petty crooks SST Records and those talentless media darlings U2, as well as serious related issues of sampling, copyright and fair use).
The Negativland website has the Truth in Advertising single listed as “out of stock.” Go here if you have a problem with impulse buying.
From Truth in Advertising 7″:
Negativland - “Truth in Advertising”
Negativland - “Greatest Taste Around”
From (a bootleg of) the U2 7″:
Negativland - “Special Edit Radio Mix”
Rick at 12:01 am
March 2, 2006
Biker Movie Thursday
This is one of my very favorite artifacts: the original soundtrack from the film Naked Angels (1969) on Frank Zappa’s Straight record label.
Today we’re presenting only the first tune on the album - the “Naked Angels Theme” - and sparing you the lame-ass studio boogie boredom that follows it. I wouldn’t waste your time.
But check out this churning fuzz monster. Many folks who are into biker instrumentals like to rave about Davie Allan & the Arrows (and they’re consistently good) - but Simmons & Steirling’s brash, nakedly commercial Naked Angels is A-list material. Hey, just because you’re a studio hack doesn’t mean you can’t cook the amps into overdrive and bust out a prime squealing bit of rough-trade road mythology once or twice in your lifetime. (UPDATE: Jeff Simmons is not a hack.)
The misogynist cover of this LP instantly attracted me, with its glamorous desert rape photo and sundrenched sleaziness. The movie’s very obscurity added to its mystique… which wore off slightly when I finally saw it, with Ivan Lerner, who curated a biker film festival at Anthology Film Archives. 
To be blunt, it didn’t leave much of an impression; though, as I recall, the filmmakers reused the “Theme” several times, like Curtis Mayfield’s “Pusherman” in the movie Superfly. Maybe it’s time for me to watch it again with fresh eyes.
And perhaps the “Naked Angels Theme” does go on a couple measures too long… but that makes it the perfect length to saddle up your gleaming chopped hog for a four-minute wind-swept freedom run, all the way down the endless highway, to that enormous new beige mega-mall they just opened.
Pleasant shopping, sucker.
Jeffrey Simmons & Randy Steirling - “Naked Angels Theme”
Rick at 12:03 am
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