September 10, 2007
Happy Returns
We’re back after a five-month hiatus. No explanations will be forthcoming. Let’s get right to it.
This blog (if you can still call it that after five months) is no stranger to Japanese TV and movie themes, and, well, I did promise, oh, let’s see… five goddamn months ago… to post up some of these 7-inch records I purchased abroad, so let’s pretend this is the first in a series.
Jinzoo Ningen Kikaidaa was based on a comic book, and it falls squarely in the Tokusatsu category of action TV shows - or, if you prefer English, “nerds in funny costumes.” Jiro is a young guitar-playin’ man driving a sidecar-equipped motorcycle, who is, in reality, a crazy-looking robot android, Kikaida. With a bizarre half-semi-translucent head with pupil-less baby-doll eyes, rocket feet and super-strength, he battles the varied creatures/robots of the Dark Destruction Corps using space age weaponry and fancy karate techniques. If I was ten years old, I’d be all over that shit.
Stuart has an information-rich webpage devoted to the Jinzoo Ningen Kikaidaa television series. Unfortunately, it’s one of those sites where an mp3 suddenly starts playing really loud, and you have to make a split-second choice: do I scroll down in a panic while the page is loading and try to locate the player and hit PAUSE, or hit the Back button and hope my browser doesn’t trip over itself and freeze for the duration of the song? It’s nervewracking, that’s what it is. Be reassured that Toestubber Dot Com will never do that to you. On the plus side, after you silence his HTML, Stuart will tell you much more than you thought you ever wanted to know about our mechanical hero, even providing these hilarious drawings Stuart made when he was a young fan!
If you find you’re hooked, the DVD box set is for sale from this otaku store.
A very enterprising former kid (”Inframan”) translated the mighty words to Yuuki Hide’s rendition of the title theme song:
The guitared Jiro, our hero
He’s a gentle and strong robot
Battling with evil once again today
With a guitar punch, strikes them down
Finish off the Dark Robots
Side Machine, car of the future
Tearing up the atmosphere, it runs
Even in water it floats
At mach speed it flies off
Finish off the Dark Robots
Kikaida is an android
Like a jet, he flies in the air
The sure-death move is the Giant Swing
With the Double Chop he smashes
Finish off the Dark Robots
‘Nuff said.
On Stuart’s tribute page, the aforementioned translator delivers an amazing list of Kikaidaa episode titles that sound like a cross between a Chinese seafood menu and sci-fi hentai schoolgirl porn: 
“Making Babies Cry Red Devil Tigerfish,” “Sponge Green Lives Thrice,” “Blue Electric Eel The Evil Hands Glisten!” and “Madder Red Squid Targets The Pretty Girl Scholar” should whet your appetite.
I acquired this record (on clear blood-red vinyl, with 10-page cardboard booklet) for about six bucks, probably ’cause the former owner scribbled on the cover here and there, as you can see from the scans. Don’t curse the Japanese child. You’re getting 3/4 of it for free.
Jinzoo Ningen Kikaidaa Opening Theme (MP3)
Robot Drama: Track 3 (MP3)
Jinzoo Ningen Kikaidaa End Theme (MP3)
Rick at 12:35 am
April 15, 2007
International Male
The week since my return from Tokyo has been flavored with the worst jet lag I’ve ever experienced.
Eleven-hour sleeping jags punctuated with ridiculous insomniac episodes. As Yoshi says, in his most disdainful voice, “Of course.”
Anyway, the city was awesome, as predicted. I love this place. When I was younger, I would dream of traveling. Idle dreams. It didn’t become clear until later that international travel doesn’t just happen to you - you actually have to do things.
Of course, these days it’s a little harder in some ways. At LAX, on the way to my flight, an eagle-eyed, superstitious DHS airport screener literally yelped with glee to see my half-drunk bottle of water going through the xray machine.
Her: Oh! What’s this? You’re not allowed to bring this in here.
Me: There weren’t any signs saying that.
Her: It’s been on the news.
Me: Yeah, I just really thought we’d be over that stuff by now.
Her (deadly serious): Oh, no. It’s going to get worse! They tried to blow up a plane. As long as they can make bombs with this stuff, it’s going to get worse. We can’t let you take liquid on a plane.
Me: But that’s not true. It’s scientifically impossible…
Her: It is true, sir.
Naturally, I wasn’t allowed to drink the remainder of my potentially explosive dihydrogen monoxide on the spot, in front of her. This rule might seem kinda counterintuitive if - as I had assumed - the purpose is to screen out toxins and liguids other than water! But that’s some pre-9/11 thinking right there. Who knows if terrorists have figured out a way to combine a colorless, odorless liquid with stomach acids to form a time-released explosion with the power to depressurize a cabin at 35,000 feet? I think it was in that 24 episode where Jack Bauer’s adversary had the really awful diarrhea.
Apparently, Kip Hawley isn’t the only idiot around here. And here I am bitching about our Homeland overlords; that’s so 2003.
Anyways, back to the fun stuff: Japan! Please check out my 130+ gallery of memories… and don’t judge me for photo-stalking the Singapore Air hostesses. You haven’t flown a mile in my pants.
In the weeks to come, I will be sharing rips of some great-looking records I scored in Tokyo. I also got a lot of old weird japanese pop stuff from the bargain bin at punk store NAT Records in Shinjuku (Shinmei Building 2F, 7-33 Nishi-Shinjuku, Tokyo 160), but trust me, I made the rounds. This is only about half of the 7-inches that I nabbed, and we’re not even talking about all the magazines, comix and CDs. Just what I needed! (Sarcasm.) However, your gain is my loss, or will be, or something.
Anyway, I’d like to thank all my Tokyo pals for the warm welcome they gave me in spite of my rude ways and Western odor. Shout outs to Onoching, Masami, Wild OX, Terumi, Elizabeth, Mike, Nori, Atchan, Rockin’ Jellybean, Shaku, and all the other cool folks whose names I cannot recall right now. Special thanks to Kazuha for letting me crash in her Nakano manshon, among her literally priceless collection of 1950s porcelain, Funny Face and Weird-Ohs premiums, Sailor Jerry flash art, and her handsome tomcat Sue.
==================================
Miami soul singer George McCrae is mainly known for this monster disco hit from my childhood. 
There’s probably a good “A Star is Born”-style film drama to be drawn from his former romantic/management relationship with his hitmaking ex-wife Gwen McCrae (I like her records, too), but George was there first in 1974, riding the crest of the disco wave with some smooth crossover soul for those of us too young to Hustle. The steady rockin’ backing group is none other than KC’s Sunshine Band!
George is still going strong - check out his rather primitive webpage that makes my browser crash. Read his grandiose bio that, with its superstar hyperbole, deserves an audiobook reading by the guy from J&H Productions! No matter, this is still a great song. Now let me get back to my nihongo benkyo o suru. What? Oh, that’s French, baby. It means, “You are incredible.”
George McCrae - “Rock Your Baby”
George McCrae - “Rock Your Baby (Pt. 2)”
Rick at 7:42 pm
March 28, 2007
Shibuya Bound
Bye bye for the next couple of weeks… I’ll be over in Tokyo, getting showered with cherry blossoms, attending noise-rock shows and sleeping in the finest of capsule hotels. Not like I would have updated much anyway, but hell, if you’re still reading this blog I suppose you’re owed an explanation. A weak one.
To balm those injured feelings, enjoy this tune from Canada’s Del-Gators. It’s taken from the 2001 Pound Down! CD on Sympathy; the band featured King Khan’s cute sister Cocobutter Khan as well as other garage royalty. While you listen, picture me soaking in a sento bath. Don’t worry, there will be photos.
The Del-Gators - “Move Mr. Man”
Rick at 3:42 am
March 10, 2007
Got to Have It
From Rotten.com via Boing Boing, here’s a collection of horrible skin diseases from The Stereoscopic Skin Clinic, a 
New York-published 1911 atlas of 3-D medical photos - rendered as 32 hypnotically vibrating, creepy-crawly GIFs.
If, after that, you need to cleanse your mental palate (and who could blame you?), simply click on Marilyn Maxwell’s dreamy face on the right and watch the delightful 1942 short “Dreamsville, Ohio” starring Charles “Buddy” Rogers and Biff Morgan & his Cats.
Finally, more audio hilarity in the form of the legendary Bacon & Eggs Watch call - by a brilliant chain-jerk who sometimes went by the names Persimmon or Peach, and her unnamed boyfriend/husband. This epic bit of nonsense takes us back to the sad historical period when the Swatch company had a Beanie Baby-like buyer’s frenzy going on the collectables market. (Yep, that’s how I achieved my millions.) Answering an ad by an enterprising young couple who are hawking the newest limited-edition breakfast-themed Swatch timepiece, phone-sex veteran Persimmon and her amoral partner spend a half hour playing the speculators like a double bass, dragging them through improbable deals, lesbian come-ons, tears, insinuendos, bizarre Tourettes-style outbursts (”take the rose out of your ass!”) and escalating accusations of sexual impropriety. We promised this mp3 to ol’ Berliner chum Wi11iam13 a couple of weeks back, so here.
For the next couple of weeks I’ll be preparing for a 10-day visit to Tokyo, home to a few Toe Stubber fans, where I will be open to offers of food, sex or future employment. You can’t miss me. Fiery red hair. I’ll be wearing a dashiki.
Persimmon & Husband - Bacon and Eggs Watch call
Rick at 4:08 pm
February 24, 2007
A Larger Man
In the audio-trading underground, there’s a tinier subculture of folks who are tickled by the artfully phoned prank. Yes, we collect tapes and CDs of anonymous pricks fucking with unsuspecting victims over the phone. Okay… it’s kind of an infantile concept, I’ll admit. Socially conscious, mature adults should be above such shenanigans. Even so, there are certain recordings that prove my rule that there are very few fields so restrictive that within their confines, a superior mind can’t create a masterpiece.
Meet “Lou Merkert.” I was introduced to his (only?) work via a cassette procured in the early 1990s from John Trubee, a fellow who did a lot to popularize the medium in those years before the Jerky Boys killed the golden goose. 
Webpages from this guy and this guy could be a good place to start if you want some primary sources.
This audio clip is very much worth your while. Granted, if you don’t find Lou’s schtick immediately entralling, you might not be the target audience for the full 18 minutes twenty. As for me, the uncomfortably chummy, nasal timbre of his voice revives childhood memories of distant hillbilly relatives back in Virginia, W.Va., Ohio and Maryland. I can smell the secondhand Tareyton smoke, hideous bourbon, leftover Hut pizza and greasy thigh cream.
A question that usually comes to mind when people first hear this tape is “How did he get her number? Do they know each other?” Given the angle of attack, I always imagined them only distantly acquainted; in my mind, Shelly somehow screwed over a pal of Lou’s, arousing in Lou a desire to see justice done in the most perverse way possible - by wasting her valuable time.
Marvel at the methodical way Lou introduces the facts of his situation bit by bit until the whole horrifying portrait emerges. And how Shelly entertains the most outlandish negotiations - so long as Lou’s holding out the possibility of a cushy infomercial gig. See, he’s a dealmaker. Does that disgust you?
“Lou Merkert” - Homebound call
=====================================
UPDATE: Incidentally, anybody who I haven’t already harassed can now view my Academy ® -acclaimed star turn in Steve Hadden’s cinematic masterpiece Feces For the Fuhrer. I’m the guy getting pissed on and electrocuted. Typecasting, y’know.
Rick at 4:39 pm
January 20, 2007
Danny Wood
This YouTube video in this post has been removed per the request of the artist. (@10-7-2007)
Rick at 4:34 pm
December 26, 2006
Experiment
I’m trying a little internets test: A little something about Britney Spears’ pussy (NSFW). Carry on with your lives and please forgive this crude interruption.
Rick at 12:17 pm
September 30, 2006
Get Download, Make Love
As I mentioned last post, it’s close to the one-year anniversary of the TOE STUBBER fast-food franchise. 
It is my strongest hope that the site has meant more than a single drop of piddly piss in an ocean of boring, self-aggrandizing mp3 blogs created by bald white dudes. I want it to be more like a powerful, gushing stream of piss.
Birthdays are for celebrating, and a number of friends have contributed time and moral support to this project. To quote To Sir, With Love, “What could I give you in return?” That’s when it occurred to me that I could simply repost every song that ever appeared on ToeStubber.com (minus the tunes that I never removed in the first place) and let our loyal readers go crazy with consumer greed! What a stupid fucking idea!
…Because, naturally, it took me long hours of typing code and a ridiculously dreary upload and, in the end, will probably crush my server. So, enjoy. If there were songs you missed out on the first time, I encourage you to go on a screeching, arm-flailing, gorilla-like downloading spree, because I will absolutely not be doing this shit again. Everything’s in roughly alphabetical order, for no good reason. And all these reruns will be deleted forever on October 7th at midnight, PST.
Make a wish, blow out the candles. Perhaps you’ll even be tempted to fumble around the rest of this site (hint: click on the dates on the left side), and see how my writing has deteriorated over the past year.
07/23/06: The Bamboo Kids - “I’m Ready”
07/23/06: The Bamboo Kids - “Low Life”
07/23/06: The Bamboo Kids - “Radio Rebel”
02/02/06: Bounder - “Kalamazoo”
10/10/05: The Brought Low - “Goddamn God Bless”
10/10/05: The Brought Low - “Motherless Sons”
11/24/05: Cactus - “Evil”
10/30/05: Captain Beyond - “Frozen Over / Thousand Days of Yesterdays”
10/30/05: Captain Beyond - “Mesmerization Eclipse”
10/30/05: Captain Beyond - “Raging River of Fear”
10/30/05: Captain Beyond - “Thousand Days of Yesterdays (Intro)”
11/03/05: Cody Chesnutt - “Enough of Nothing”
11/03/05: Cody Chesnutt - “My Women, My Guitars”
11/03/05: Cody Chesnutt - “Serve This Royalty”
11/03/05: Cody Chesnutt w/Sonja Marie - “With Me in Mind”
10/05/05: Daniel Johnston - “Funeral Home (live)”
10/05/05: Daniel Johnston - “Hey Joe”
10/05/05: Daniel Johnston - “Walking the Cow”
09/27/05: The Equals - “Christine”
09/27/05: The Equals - “Honey Gum”
12/23/05: The Equals - “Honey Bee”
12/23/05: The Equals - “Just Me and You”
12/23/05: The Equals - “Michael and His Slipper Tree”
12/23/05: The Equals - “The Skies Above”
01/04/06: Frankie Lee Sims - “She Likes to Boogie Real Low”
04/14/06: Goblin - “La Via Della Droga”
04/14/06: Goblin - “Profondo Rosso”
04/14/06: Goblin - “Suspiria”
04/14/06: Goblin - “Witch”
04/29/06: 1/2 Japanese - “Ann Arbor, MI”
04/29/06: 1/2 Japanese - “Battle of the Bands”
04/29/06: 1/2 Japanese - “Bogue Millionaires / Cool Millionaires”
04/29/06: 1/2 Japanese - “Calling All Girls”
04/29/06: 1/2 Japanese - “Dream Date”
04/29/06: 1/2 Japanese - “Her Parents Came Home”
04/29/06: 1/2 Japanese - “School of Love”
04/29/06: 1/2 Japanese - “Shy Around Girls”
04/29/06: 1/2 Japanese - “The Worst I’d Ever Do”
07/15/06: Hillbilly Peckers - “Celia”
07/15/06: Hillbilly Peckers - “Heavy Metal Honky Tonk”
07/15/06: Hillbilly Peckers - “Knock Me Down”
07/15/06: Hillbilly Peckers - “Locked ‘n’ Loaded”
07/15/06: Hillbilly Peckers - “Set ‘Em Up Joe”
07/15/06: Hillbilly Peckers - “Wildwood Flower”
01/29/06: The Hookers - “Baby, You’ll Regret Me”
01/29/06: The Hookers - “Broke My Heart”
01/29/06: The Hookers - “Do That Dance”
01/29/06: The Hookers - “Get It Tonight”
01/29/06: The Hookers - “Kiss My Fuckin’ Ass”
02/25/06: The Hypstrz - “96 Tears (live)”
02/25/06: The Hypstrz - “All or Nothing (live)”
02/25/06: The Hypstrz - “I’ll Go Crazy (live)”
12/16/05: Jacques Brel - “Amsterdam (live)”
12/16/05: Jacques Brel - “Marieke”
12/16/05: Jacques Brel - “Ne Me Quitte Pas”
10/16/05: Jet Boys - “I Wanna Die”
10/26/05: Johnny Paycheck - “When the Grass Grows Over Me”
02/16/06: The King Khan & BBQ Show - “Hold Me Tight”
02/16/06: The King Khan & BBQ Show - “Waddlin’ Around”
08/20/06: Knights of the New Crusade - “Secret Sign”
04/04/06: Leather Nun - “Death Threats”
04/04/06: Leather Nun - “Ensam I Natt”
04/04/06: Leather Nun - “No Rule”
04/04/06: Leather Nun - “Slow Death”
01/20/06: The Little Killers - “Butterfingers”
01/20/06: The Little Killers - “How Do You Do It?”
12/11/05: The Maids - “Back to Bataan”
12/11/05: The Maids - “I Do I Do”
08/04/06: Menace - “GLC”
08/04/06: Menace - “I Need Nothing”
08/04/06: Menace - “Screwed Up”
08/04/06: Menace - “The Young Ones”
11/30/05: The Mullens - “All Fours”
11/30/05: The Mullens - “Step On the Gas”
11/30/05: The Mullens - “This and That”
11/30/05: The Mullens - “Your Little Scene”
03/03/06: Negativland - “Greatest Taste Around”
03/03/06: Negativland - “Special Edit Radio Mix”
03/03/06: Negativland - “Truth in Advertising”
11/06/05: The Nerves - “Hanging on the Telephone”
11/06/05: The Nerves - “One Way Ticket”
11/06/05: The Nerves - “Paper Dolls”
11/06/05: The Nerves - “Stand Back and Take a Good Look”
06/21/06: The Nothing - “Scream ‘n’ Cry”
06/21/06: The Nothing - “Uniformz”
09/20/05: Of Cabbages and Kings - “The Veil Thins”
10/16/05: Onanie Machine - “I Love Onanie”
12/06/05: Quasimoto - “Bus Ride”
12/06/05: Quasimoto - “Microphone Mathematics Remix”
08/08/06: The Red Onions - “Gimme Some More”
08/08/06: The Red Onions - “Live Wire”
08/08/06: The Red Onions - “Your Politics”
01/01/06: The Rezillos - “2000 A.D.”
01/01/06: The Rezillos - “Cold Wars”
01/01/06: The Rezillos - “Glad All Over”
01/01/06: The Rezillos - “I Can’t Stand My Baby”
01/01/06: The Rezillos - “I Need You (live)”
01/01/06: The Rezillos - “It Gets Me”
08/20/06: The Sea Monkeys - “Secret Sign”
12/16/05: The Sensational Alex Harvey Band - “Next”
03/12/06: The Shakes - “In My Hair”
03/12/06: The Shakes - “Oops! I Did It Again”
03/12/06: The Shakes - “Sicker”
02/12/06: Sir Lord Baltimore - “Ain’t Got Hung on You”
02/12/06: Sir Lord Baltimore - “Helium Head”
02/12/06: Sir Lord Baltimore - “Kingdom Come”
02/12/06: Sir Lord Baltimore - “Lady of Fire”
02/12/06: Sir Lord Baltimore - “Lake Isle of Innersfree”
02/12/06: Sir Lord Baltimore - “Pumped Up”
06/06/06: Slayer - “Black Magic”
11/21/05: SPK - “Germanik”
11/21/05: SPK - “Mekano”
09/28/05: The Stoneage Hearts - “Your Smile”
01/30/06: The Stranglers - “Bitching”
05/10/06: Tight Bros From Way Back When - “Gimme Luv”
05/10/06: Tight Bros From Way Back When - “Lend You a Hand”
05/10/06: Tight Bros From Way Back When - “Make It a Habit”
05/10/06: Tight Bros From Way Back When - “Rip It Up”
05/10/06: Tight Bros From Way Back When - “So Sneaky”
05/10/06: Tight Bros From Way Back When - “That’s a Promise”
11/17/05: Trio - “Anna - Letmeinletmeout”
11/17/05: Trio - “Broken Hearts For You and Me”
11/17/05: Trio - “Out in the Streets”
11/17/05: Trio - “Sunday You Need Love Monday Be Alone”
11/13/05: The Upper Crust - “Boudoir”
11/13/05: The Upper Crust - “Let Them Eat Rock”
11/13/05: The Upper Crust - “Ne’er-Do-Well”
11/13/05: The Upper Crust - “Rock ‘n’ Roll Butler”
11/13/05: The Upper Crust - “We’re Finished With Finishing School”
11/09/05: VOM - “Electrocute Your Cock”
11/09/05: VOM - “God Save the Whales”
11/09/05: VOM - “I’m in Love With Your Mom”
11/09/05: VOM - “Punkmobile”
11/09/05: VOM - “Too Animalistic”
03/09/06: Warwick - “Let’s Get the Party Going”
12/06/05: Yesterdays New Quintet - “I Am Singing”
Rick at 8:17 pm
September 26, 2006
Some Answers
What kind of father am I? Toe Stubber hit another so-called-writer’s block and allowed so much time to elapse that we didn’t even acknowledge the one year anniversary of TOESTUBBER.COM.
On September 20, 2005 this website was born out of my admiration for a handful of MP3 blogs, a vague fear of getting old, the pleasure of sharing my sweet taste in music and the desire to seem cool. Longtime readers will attest to an initial spurt of posting activity which has steadily dwindled. The last post was over a month ago.
Honestly, I pretty much knew what I was getting into from the beginning. From throughout my abortive DJ period, prior to the site launch, I’d learned not to expect a very rewarding ratio of brainwaves expended to kudos digested. (Thus I try to consider myself a kind of pro bono public defender of good music.) For a while, things were rockin’ - a small group of stubbers had been reading and posting comments and linking and calling me a clever lad. I liked that. But then other factors clogged up the tubes - laziness, depression, isolation, other projects, disorganization, waah waah waaaahh.
Well, I’m back for now. At least you have the incentive to return at least once. I promise that if I haven’t made another post within a week from this one, you have my permission to shoot me in the back of the head, execution-style.
==================================================
When I sit on the toilet and reread this compendium of the first three issues of Jim & Debbie Goad’s Answer Me!, a sort of wistful longing overtakes me. To return to those days when I was innocent in my total cynicism - a time when I (the Elite lord of my apartment) thought that my hard cock and street smarts could really protect me - before I got my heart broken a couple of times.
Because I am a romantic. And sentimental fools soon learn that there’s a really thin line between romantic and stupid. Later on, Jim’s stupid heart got the rest of him thrown in prison for domestic self-defense. There’s plenty of documentation of that sad history here, but I recommend picking up the book first, before you savor the salacious dessert of another human’s misery. Mr. Goad’s clear, witty writing holds up incredibly well, considering all the nonsense that came after. This volume also includes about 60 pages of pure comedy that Goad produced after the demise of AM!
You can get a glossy reprint of the fourth, final and best Answer Me! - the “Rape issue” - from the publisher.
At what turned out to be the waning sunset of the printed ‘zine (I gave up on Panty Line Fever within a year after discovering Answer Me!), Jim and Debbie popped four of these impeccably researched, hilarious, passionate and nearly typo-free bundles of reasoned misanthropy and joy straight out of the moist, fertile vaginas of their minds.
Most of us other zinesters were never this good. What were we thinking, anyway?
===========================================
Congratulations go to former Toe Stubber muse Michelle for recently sharing a room with the U.S. Secretary of State and somehow surviving the overpowering, acrid stench of incompetence.
Dave the Cruse has a new MP3 blog - DIRTYGROOVES - and I can tell you he’s barely scratched the surface of his awesome record collection. Which is good: You don’t want to scratch the surface. It makes the record skip. I can’t believe I have to tell you this. C’mon, put that down.
Champagne just made a double nickel. Much love, cuz.
The Knights of the New Crusade will be touring Central and South America in November.
===========================================
So, until next weekend. Here’s a beautifully sad tune, to give you goosebumps.
Eddie Hinton - “Hard Luck Guy”
Rick at 11:02 pm
July 29, 2006
Ice Machine
Yesterday the evil Sun God finally ceased His fiery collective punishment of Southern California.
If only I’d listened to this record last week. Well, better late than never.
Ice, ice, ice. And advertising. Everyone loves radio ads. Seeing as how the single most popular Toe Stubber post, in terms of links and downloads, is this one, consider this a shameless bid to recapture some of the audience I had, before this site slid back and entire months passed with only 2-3 posts up. While there’s no way any of these National Ice Association ads could possibly approach the sinful richness of the commercial for the film Loving Cousins, they are charming enough in their own right. It’s fun to hear announcers exalt Happy Summertime Family Fun while at the same time they’re warning you against death by salmonella poisoning. And, of course, packaged ice is far superior to the ice you make at home. What are you, retarded?
Apparently, ice shill Nita Talbot had a long career in films, the pinnacle of which was surely her role in Puppet Master 2 (1991).
“Actress, model and mother” Vickie Dugan was a bit harder to figure out. I thought she might perhaps be the same Vickie Dugan who got fired from her job coaching a softball team (the “Beavers”!) by either A. losing a bunch of games or B. having a vagina - depending on who you listen to. I dunno; I hate sports.
More likely, it’s this Vikki Dougan, who my Dad’s generation may have masturbated to when she appeared on the TV show Sea Hunt or in various b-movies. Rrowwwr. Put some ice on that.
National Ice Association - “Vickie Dugan” ad
National Ice Association - “Auto Trips” ad
National Ice Association - “BarBQ Bacteria” ad
National Ice Association - “Headline” ad
National Ice Association - “Mother’s Helper” ad
National Ice Association - “Dairy Products” ad
National Ice Association - “Nita Talbot” ad
National Ice Association - “Thirst Quenchers” ad
National Ice Association - “Salmonella” ad
Rick at 3:41 pm
May 23, 2006
Sunburn
HEADLINE - California: A stupid caucasian man went to the beach on Saturday and burned the hell out of his pale skin. 
The sky was overcast; what can I say in my defense? I think it might be congenital.
Of late, the lack of posts is disturbing. We’re hemorrhaging readers like a gut-shot public library. Maybe someone’s got some new ideas that would inspire me to write.
Anyway, from Thursday through Monday I’ll be vacationing in beautiful New York City. Friends of the Toe Stubber who live in the world’s greatest city should call or email so that we can all get together. Just don’t slap me on the back, goddammit.
Rick at 10:34 am
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