True, it’s a weak punchline for a pubic hair joke. And yes, it is kinda weird that she has no nose. But bear in mind this is a German cartoon.






Desmond Dekker – “Pretty Africa”

It’s occurred to me that for me, Black Black seems to occupy the role for which an Ethiopian feller might use khat. Except that gum-chewing is a filthy habit that sometimes messes up the soles of people’s shoes later on. Khat doesn’t really seem to have much of a downside except that it has a weird foreign name and some Africans find it pleasurable, which always makes certain folk nervous.

My brilliant analogy with khat means the Drug Enforcement Administration will no doubt be arresting my Japanese gum import connection any month now. My only prayer shall be that politicians and powerful drug warriors will continue to not read this blog.

The Moody Blues – “Question”

(Enjoyment of the Moody Blues can be enhanced with a nice blast of caffeine.)

Your nazi helmet is factory fresh and comes with a choice of personalized decals. Made of the finest organic plastic, this item will never become obsolete. Kids – get your own helmet club! Plan secret meetings. Wear your helmets to school. Compare your genuine now helmet to Dad’s old one! Guaranteed complete protection in all demonstrations…

Hey, kids! Get uptight with your outtasight nazi helmet today!

(From You Are What You Eat (1968). Long time thanks to the Hound.)

Nazi Helmet ad (:57)

UPDATE: Corrected the name of the movie (thanks, Squeaky!) and discovered that this piece was on a track by Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul & Mary. According to Wikipedia, Pete pled guilty in 1970 to taking “immoral and indecent liberties” with a 14-year-old female fan, and served three months in prison.

What’s clear to me, and anyone else, is that Mothra is a giant moth. Let’s pause a moment and let that sink in. A moth. Possibly the most harmless pest in terms of battle, a fluttering, delicate moth can – what, nibble on your linens? Does Godzilla end up after the melee with raggedy-ass holes in his/her underwear? (Just kidding. Everyone knows Godzilla doesn’t wear any underwear.)

(...Damn, that’s sexy.)

As an aside, you can find out all about Mosura’s fragile ego and mothy powers right here. And this other page has the original version of the theme, as well as storyline summaries, smart links, cool photos, lyrics and translation.

The real movie came out in 1961, then was remade in 1996, probably because somebody imagined that was somehow necessary.

The U.S. credits for the original movie had Jerry Ito’s name listed as “Jelly Ito.” How excellent is that?

Anyway, I found an old cassette tape that has this tune which I’d assumed was by girl duo the Peanuts as those adorable little twin Japanese maidens (the Shobijin) that worship an enormous moth. This must be from a record I own called Godzilla Legend III: Dialogue of the Infantians by Makoto Inoue, which is apparently slavish synth interpretations of the original Akira Ifukube score, made in 1983. I like to imagine it’s the Peanuts on vocals, but for all I know it’s Pink Lady in a karaoke bar. Got your wings on, good buddy?

“Mosura” (theme)

One thing that I’ve grown to appreciate about the Shakes is their consistency. These youngsters are in it for the long haul. Lemme tell ya, kid – I seen ‘em come and go. This combo might have one of the most generic names imaginable (I suppose we can be grateful they didn’t call themselves Rock Band), but the Shakes seem to lack the sort of deluded megastar ambition that leads to the breakup of lesser bands. They bring a garagey roughness to the academic sixties-worship you hear from certain other devotees of the Kinks and Small Faces. Peter and Janet are infamous for deflating any hint of show-biz mythmaking in the live show – specifically with their tendency to mumble self-deprecating commentary or inside jokes, or by overexplaining that which needs no introduction.

On Friday, it seemed like they were consciously trying to avoid these pitfalls, because whenever Peter would begin to elucidate the origins of a particular song, the rest of the band would quickly step all over each other with “shut up and play!”-type objections, which piled upon one another until somebody actually did start playing. But the Shakes never degenerate into fisticuffs; no one goes away bloody.

Bass player Janet Housden dislikes it when friends mention she formerly hit drums for Redd Kross. Guitar/frontman Pete Gilabert is another “scene veteran” (as we old folks like to put it) who was in merseybeat group the Stool Pigeons as well as other bands that are shrouded in mystery. Keyboard nut Dan Collins is a funny fellow and an excellent DJ on Killradio.org, where he spins the finest in 1960s-70s non-hits. Andrew Chojnacki is no longer their drummer, but the new guy is really good.

These first two selections below are from the Gigantes Del Pop! album on L.A. pop mogul Jim Freek’s Teenacide records. The Britney cover is from the 2002 debut record. Monsieur Freek says that the new Shakes CD is due out on 6-6-06. I can’t wait.

The Shakes – “In My Hair”

The Shakes – “Sicker”

And here’s that blast from four years back:
The Shakes – “Oops! ...I Did It Again”

But check out this churning fuzz monster. Many folks who are into biker instrumentals like to rave about Davie Allan & the Arrows (and they’re consistently good) – but Simmons & Steirling’s brash, nakedly commercial Naked Angels is A-list material. Hey, just because you’re a studio hack doesn’t mean you can’t cook the amps into overdrive and bust out a prime squealing bit of rough-trade road mythology once or twice in your lifetime. (UPDATE: Jeff Simmons is not a hack.)

The misogynist cover of this LP instantly attracted me, with its glamorous desert rape photo and sundrenched sleaziness. The movie’s very obscurity added to its mystique… which wore off slightly when I finally saw it, with Ivan Lerner, who curated a biker film festival at Anthology Film Archives. To be blunt, it didn’t leave much of an impression; though, as I recall, the filmmakers reused the “Theme” several times, like Curtis Mayfield’s “Pusherman” in the movie Superfly. Maybe it’s time for me to watch it again with fresh eyes.

And perhaps the “Naked Angels Theme” does go on a couple measures too long… but that makes it the perfect length to saddle up your gleaming chopped hog for a four-minute wind-swept freedom run, all the way down the endless highway, to that enormous new beige mega-mall they just opened.

Pleasant shopping, sucker.

Jeffrey Simmons & Randy Steirling – “Naked Angels Theme”

Anyhoo, since the Toestubber (that’s me) will be mostly incommunicado until a couple days after Xmas – way up in the hills of beige-ass Fresno County – here are a handful more totally soul-groovin’ songs by the Equals to help you cope. To paraphrase Sara Lee, nobody doesn’t love this band. So cheer up, put on your dancing ‘fro and let’s get to mingering! And be sure to have a Merry whatever, suckas.

The Equals – “Honey Bee”

The Equals – “Michael and His Slipper Tree”

Jacques Brel is one of my favorite singers, and I have never heard him sing a word in English. I would not want to hear such a thing. When I was a kid, my mother used to play his records, and my brother and I mocked them mercilessly in an attempt to portray ourselves as badasses. I believe that hearing his casual, precise enunciation when I was that young helped me when I was learning French in high school, even though Monsieur Jacques sang a kind of Bruxellois a French teacher might not like. And now, of course, I am recommending you dig the music – whether or not you understand what he’s singing about.

Although he’s revered in France and his native Belgium as the French-speaking world’s own Frank Sinatra (with perhaps a little Bob Dylan thrown in), Brel’s American exposure has mainly consisted of this retarded piece of horrible hippie shit. (The video actually features one great clip of JB hisself singing “Ne Me Quitte Pas”; too bad this gem is found inside the movie equivalent of a drippy fart.) Brel was also a publicly avowed atheist, a ballsy stance that earns him special Toestubber miles which can even be redeemed after one’s death.

Brel the pop star always looked freakin’ cool as hell, exuding that kind of suave handsome/ugly combo I often relate to for some strange reason: Smoking a fag in literally half the photos ever taken of him, tousled hair from driving his sports convertible, tailored dinner jacket… the complete early-’60s jetsetter intellectual, frozen in time. That’s how it seemed, anyway. He often sang partly in Flemish, and about the Flemish ladies (“Les Flamandes,” among others). He famously stopped performing a few years before the cigarettes finally croaked him in 1978.

There are lots of records you can buy, but precious little video footage, with apparently one exception: After obsessing over these songs during a busy xmas season, I’m seriously thinking about purchasing what must be the most expensive DVD set in history. What the fuck.

In 1973, Alex Harvey of the Sensational Alex Harvey Band did a tango version of Brel’s “Next” and named their best album after it. SAHB is a post for another day, but this is the most rocking Brel cover you’ll ever hear (beating out even Sinatra’s reworking of “Je Ne Quitte Pas” as “If You Go Away.”). I love the way the soldier’s story introduces itself as a light, cheesy farce and then suddenly takes a nasty, apocalyptic turn into full-on existential horror. “Next…”

Jacques Brel – “Ne Me Quitte Pas”
Jacques Brel – “Amsterdam (live)”
Jacques Brel – “Marieke”

Sensational Alex Harvey Band – “Next”