February 26, 2006

I’m Rick Hall, I’m Rick Hall

The title of this piece is my own personal theme song, written by lyricist Jessica Mirmak and meant to be sung to the tune of “Three Blind Mice.” And it’s true – I am indeed Rick Hall, but so are a whole fuckload of other people. I googled my name and among the 111,000 results I couldn’t find a single reference to me or my life. That sucks. Even John Doe has more name recognition. Let’s have a look at some of these Rick Hall fuckers who think they’re oh-so-much more important than me. (By the way, I stole this idea from Jim Goad, who is just as much a narcissist as yours truly, but is fortunate enough to have a less common surname.)

Rich Hall, the inoffensive comic from the eighties who did those pizza commercials, doesn’t count. He is a Rich, not a Rick. Let’s maintain some standards, people.

Songwriter/producer Rick Hall is the most famous Rick Hall by far. He is responsible for some of the greatest R&B songs of the sixties plus a lot of other stuff. The Muscle Shoals sound, FAME Studios… that gentleman on the right. I like the guy. He has a nice mustache.

This dude is a blogger working on his correspondence-school B.A. in Church Ministries. He’s the radio host of “Worship Now.” He has lousy taste in music.

Then there’s a fella who’s some kind of bigwig in the video/computer game industry. Since he doesn’t seem to have any direct connection to Grand Theft Auto, Galaga, Katamari Damashii or Pong, I suspect that we don’t have much in common.

This Rick Hall designs urban streetscapes which look rather pleasant.

“Professor Hall is currently writing a book on interest group influence in law making and rule making at the national level.”

Here’s a Vietnam vet who does Civil War reenactments.

This one’s a Christian who sells eyewear.

This bass-playin’ Rick sports a grey ponytail. “Click on Rick’s bass to enlarge.”

According to the IMDB, four Rick Halls have fancied themselves thespians at one time or another. Here, here and here. This is my listing.

Rick Hall & the Blues Healers play a kind of milk-safe blues that sound a lot like the Saturday Night Live band fronted by Garth Brooks. Maybe I’m just a little cranky ‘cause they’re throwing my name around the internet and all.

Now, this dietician clown’s gone too far. Not only has he copped my name, but he’s shaved bald, and therefore looks kind of like me as well. Guess I’m going to have to see a lawyer about trademarking my shiny dome.

Thanks to Google for helping to bleed my ego. Yeah… thanks.

UPDATE 2-27-06: Commenter Sfumato points out the obvious – Moby – who is technically a mere Richard, but also resembles me in a slightly more gay-ass way. Touché, douché.

Rick at 6:46 pm

11 CommentsÈ

it appears to be quite a burden carrying the illustrious name of RICK HALL… i mean, being in the company of so many over-achievers. i can just hear your mother, “Richard, why couldn’t you have been like one of those other RICK HALLs? You could have been a Christian eye-glass specialist, or a Purveyor of Pedestrian Perspective, or a Vietnam Vet, or a Dietician or hell i’d even settle for the aging bass player… but NO, you hadda go and become a PORNOGRAPHIC SATAN WORSHIPPER

well, this one may just do you in but i must send it anyway:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moby

Comment by Rickhall Sfumato Ñ February 27, 2006 @ 7:38 am
we made it to page 2 on google. hilly already said you can’t play here so what are you trying to do anyway?

Comment by champagne and little bear Ñ February 27, 2006 @ 12:48 pm
You coulda been Rick Hall, the guy who paid for his exorbinant traffic fines by selling one lousy punk record.
http://cgi.ebay.com/THE-NOTHING-Uniformz-7-ORIGINAL-NYC-punk-kbd-RARE_W0QQitemZ4833227255QQcategoryZ306QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Comment by Dave Cruse Ñ February 28, 2006 @ 12:21 pm
I won’t blow (heh-heh-heh…) your cover by revealing your middle name to the worldwide web, but how many [RICK’S FULL NAME HERE]’s are there? Not many. You’re a special unique l’il snowflake, ain’tcha? Yes, you are! Unique and mysterious, talented and sexy! Mmm-hmm!

According to Google, there’s me, a rabbi in San Diego and a lawyer in Montreal. And we all walked into a bar…

Comment by Ivan Lerner Ñ February 28, 2006 @ 5:13 pm
Where’s my grammy?????

Comment by Jessica Ñ March 7, 2006 @ 9:19 pm
I had no idea that our mother was using the pen name of “moby” (see comment#1). I know its her….I can hear that Jesus tone in her voice!

Don’t take it so hard anyway, when I googled myself all I am known for is an
phone number that I no longer have! Between the 2 of us, the parents should really be proud!!

Comment by chris Ñ March 8, 2006 @ 12:47 pm
That dietician looks like a more handsome version of you. I’m going to send the picture to Billy.

Comment by Steve Cattani Ñ March 15, 2006 @ 12:50 pm
So cruel! So cruel. I happen to think that I have excellent taste in music. ;)

Comment by Rick Hall Ñ July 3, 2006 @ 7:05 pm
Steve is right, I’m much more handsome.

Comment by Rick Hall Ñ July 27, 2006 @ 11:01 am
I’m proud of my brother Rick Hall and played bass on the album…I am Mike Hall the bassplayer/attorney. I don’t think he sounds at all like Garth Brooks. Besides my brother is a really nice guy and wouldn’t say bad things about you.

Comment by Michael Hall Ñ June 30, 2008 @ 2:02 pm
Rick Hall is more than welcome to say bad things about me. I’m sure he can come up with something.

Comment by Rick Ñ September 7, 2008 @ 12:36 am