September 22, 2008

I Got Mad Cankles: The Art of Melissa & Trish, continued

The artistic vision of Trish & Melissa has been transformative, not only within their immediate environment, but in the minds and attitudes of coworkers and among their more politically-minded peers. Sadly, their work has gone unrecognized in the broader gallery world, the art scene’s leading magazines and curators having chosen to ignore two of the 21st Century’s most promising new conceptual artists in favor of trendy musical groups and performance art.

In our opinion, the institutionalized exclusion of these two cultural wunderkinds from the hallowed grounds of elite critical discussion is no less than a crime against art.

“Is it humanly possible to feel completely sick to the stomach when your [sic] around someone?

yes-√ no-☐

Glad you agree with me! Now I need you to please go home and take a shower to wash off the smell of camel and corn. Please.”

...

“I would normally say you aren’t worthy enough to fuck a human but I seriously can’t let myself as a P.E.T.A. member to [sic] allow you to fornicate with animals either. It’s complete animal cruelty! Please do the world a favor and shoot yourself in the face.”

“Dear fuckface: I wanted to again let you know my deep and concerned appreciation for you working here. *clears throat* You working here has turned my delicate life into a everlasting nightmare surrounded by little demons tearing at my flesh… Every moment with you makes me beg for mercy from god to take my life. So thank you!... you heatheness banshee for making my days twice as long and making all my fears come to life. Without you I might just be happy! ♡ Melissa”

When, finally, the future scholars of aesthetic history locate these works and endeavor to illuminate the profound oeuvre of Trish and Melissa, these works will undoubtedly end up sold for thousands of hundreds of Euros at auction.

Until then, please remember to be courteous to girls who work in filing rooms.

Rick at 9:44 pm

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